I'm eating all of the evidence.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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