I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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