haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
