dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
