id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize