They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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