Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
