I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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