How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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