please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize