I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
