You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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