You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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