Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize