i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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