You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
