My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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