There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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