he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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