I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
