she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think my fart just growled at me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
