I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
