If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
