Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
