you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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