drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
