u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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