Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
