K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
