Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
