Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
