so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize