Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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