...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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