I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
