ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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