I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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