I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
