I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
