sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's blow job season.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
