sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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