I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize