Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
