That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
