areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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