There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
