Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
