She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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