I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
