phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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