just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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