sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
