i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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