i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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