my mouth tastes like poor choices
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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