just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
