You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
