Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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