i think my mom watched the whole time
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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