last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
