My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
