hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
