just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
did you get engaged???
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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